Crazy Brain
From the time from my first date until I went to college I didn’t necessarily have a lot of “dates” in the traditional sense. It wasn’t that common where I was from. There were cinema trips etc but usually it was if you meet someone you like you just went for it. I knew all of my boyfriends first before we started dating, they would be friends, or friends of friends. You would think that this would eliminate the opportunities for crazy’s and to be honest my teenage dating wasn’t that bad.
However, there comes a time in every girls life that she becomes the crazy, and I think all women will understand what I mean. I think we have all experienced it, the guy that gets inside her head and creates her to become this mad, possessive women. And the weird thing is, you know you are doing it, which actually makes you worse! I blame technology. Before mobile phones, facebook, email, instant messages etc the only way to get in contact with someone was either have them ring your house and pray that your dad doesn’t answer the phone, or arrange a time to meet. If a guy didn’t call, you could logically put it down to him loosing your number and you being ex directory. Simple. Now a guy doesn’t get in contact and you know he just doesn’t want to. Simple but a lot more frustrating, and the cause of a lot of madness!
My favourite story that I heard of a woman going crazy, was of a girl friend of mine who was casually dating this guy. Well casual for him but she was hooked on him. It was clear by the way he treated her, he didn’t care, he knew that as soon as he clicked his fingers she would come running and she did. She had the crazy brain for him. She knew he was bad for her but it just made her want him more. We were at a party one night, and he just pushed her too far and she cracked. She went up to his room with a scissors and a tube of deep heat. She shredded all of his shirts and put deep heat in his boxer shorts! I still laugh thinking about it!
I thankfully got this madness out of my system in my late teens. I was 18 and there was one guy that I really liked, but the more I liked him the less he liked me. Classic really! Anyway he would say “I will text you” and he never would, however the next Saturday night, he would say something nice and the whole thing would happen all over again. So I decided to text him and guess what no reply A few days would pass and still no reply, I would send him a “ I can’t believe you haven’t text me back, you are a prick ” text and then a text saying “sorry for calling you a prick, I just really like you”. You can see where this is going. He would never reply, which was an Esso truck pulling up to a bush fire. Something just goes off in your head that you cant control. Eventually he did text back and I of course thought this was amazing and we met up and went out. I am sure he just had nothing better to do and possibly felt sorry for me. So here I was about to go on a night out with someone I verbally abused constantly, who clearly didn’t give a rats ass about me, and I was super excited. To calm my nerves my friends said, I did anything that a student would do and that was to drink as much as I could,! We were outside and I was sitting on top of a bin, classy lady, and we were just about to kiss. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, the moment I could prove I wasn’t some loon but a real catch. When just at the moment before lips touched I bent over and vomited on his shoes….
Probably the best thing I did. As soon as I saw him running away muttering to himself I knew that I would never be that girl again. I would never allow a guy get into my head that way. Needless to say we never dated again, but we did remain friends.
Learning from all my teenage mishaps I left for University being a self assured women and then I met “the boyfriend”……
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Chapter 2 - How is all Began
How it all Began
It is 10 years since my first dating disaster. I don’t think anything before that really can constitute as proper dating. Since it is 10 years I thought that this would be a better time than any to share my experiences with the world. My friends seem to get much joy out of my pain. At first I got the “you must be joking” treatment, then came the sideways head tilt and nod that suggests that all these disasters are actually my fault and now it is just the running joke! Nobody expects to hear good things anymore, in fact if there isn’t some strange story or drama there are disappointed faces!
It was June 2000, I was spending summer in Martha’s Vineyard, off Cape Cod in Massachusetts. I was staying with my Aunt and Uncle but it was my first summer of freedom. Here I was in the land of “dating”, surely at 17 I would meet the American of my dreams, tall, brown eyes, basket ball player, fall in love and that would be it. I had watched Clueless so many times, that I just presumed that that was how my dating life should be. Carefree and wonderful! How wrong could I be..
I met Matt, while out with some friends. On first meeting, he seemed like everything you could imagine an American man to be. Polite, manners, taller then me and a convertible. One of those convertibles that only had one seat in the front. I was in dating heaven! Over a shared dollar slice of pizza and ice cream he asked me if I would like to go on a date. I jumped at the chance, I had never been on a real date before. This was it this was the moment that would path out my whole relationship and dating life!
Days leading up to this momentous event, I did what any girl does. I went with my aunt and got my hair and nails done, bought a new outfit, rehearsed what I would say when I first saw him and how would I greet him. He arrived to pick me up to get the approval of my uncle. This was like scenes out of Hollywood films, how could it be anything but perfect, that was me, all ready to pack my bags and move to America.
So we drove to the beach and took and walk, held hands and laughed. Serious innocent romance. Then went for some pizza and to the arcade, everything pretty normal so far. The end of the night was coming and it had been arranged that Matt would drop me home. Can I just add that I had no mobile phone and my uncles house was about an hours walk. Anyway, as I said the end of the night was drawing near and we went to sit on a bench, that was on top of a hill, looking down onto a restaurant. The conversation up to that point was good, nothing was said that made me think ‘hey this guy is a bit weird’ until he asked me “what was the worst thing I had done to make someone jealous?”. I was a bit curious as to why he was asking but when he went on to express that his girlfriend had cheated on him with his brother so I brushed that question to one side until he asked “had I ever been in jail?”. Even in my Hollywood blurred vision of dating I even realised that this was never a good combination of questions!
I politely answered “no, why have you?”, to which he replied “not yet”! Here was I sitting on a park bench with a guy who was contemplating a stint in jail, even Drew Barrymore wasn’t this unlucky. Naively, I thought that this was a blip, the end of the weirdness. When just then, a waitress appeared from the restaurant that lay at the bottom of this picturesque hill, running towards us shouting “get away from my man - HO” with what appeared to be a very large kitchen knife. There was a moment between running and thinking I’d never heard a real person say “HO” apart from when it follows “HI”, when I did actually look behind me to see the poor women that she must have been talking to until I realised that it was actually me! So, what did I do? I ran and hid behind a tree, that’s right, I hid all 5’11 of me behind a tree, while these two battled it out in the middle of the park thinking to myself what would Cher do in this situation!
Days following, Matt did call the house several times asking if I would like to go out again, at first I gracefully declined and then I had to get my 8 year old cousin to tell him I had gone back to Ireland! So this was it, this was dating, how it all began and how I still know it now. This is when the blow off “I have a boyfriend” , the “I’m moving country” the “I’m not emotional available” the “tragic death” (yes I have actually had to use that) and many more excuses all started.
This experience bodes the question; is Hollywood to blame for my idealistic view in dating, or am I just that unlucky? And so it continues…
It is 10 years since my first dating disaster. I don’t think anything before that really can constitute as proper dating. Since it is 10 years I thought that this would be a better time than any to share my experiences with the world. My friends seem to get much joy out of my pain. At first I got the “you must be joking” treatment, then came the sideways head tilt and nod that suggests that all these disasters are actually my fault and now it is just the running joke! Nobody expects to hear good things anymore, in fact if there isn’t some strange story or drama there are disappointed faces!
It was June 2000, I was spending summer in Martha’s Vineyard, off Cape Cod in Massachusetts. I was staying with my Aunt and Uncle but it was my first summer of freedom. Here I was in the land of “dating”, surely at 17 I would meet the American of my dreams, tall, brown eyes, basket ball player, fall in love and that would be it. I had watched Clueless so many times, that I just presumed that that was how my dating life should be. Carefree and wonderful! How wrong could I be..
I met Matt, while out with some friends. On first meeting, he seemed like everything you could imagine an American man to be. Polite, manners, taller then me and a convertible. One of those convertibles that only had one seat in the front. I was in dating heaven! Over a shared dollar slice of pizza and ice cream he asked me if I would like to go on a date. I jumped at the chance, I had never been on a real date before. This was it this was the moment that would path out my whole relationship and dating life!
Days leading up to this momentous event, I did what any girl does. I went with my aunt and got my hair and nails done, bought a new outfit, rehearsed what I would say when I first saw him and how would I greet him. He arrived to pick me up to get the approval of my uncle. This was like scenes out of Hollywood films, how could it be anything but perfect, that was me, all ready to pack my bags and move to America.
So we drove to the beach and took and walk, held hands and laughed. Serious innocent romance. Then went for some pizza and to the arcade, everything pretty normal so far. The end of the night was coming and it had been arranged that Matt would drop me home. Can I just add that I had no mobile phone and my uncles house was about an hours walk. Anyway, as I said the end of the night was drawing near and we went to sit on a bench, that was on top of a hill, looking down onto a restaurant. The conversation up to that point was good, nothing was said that made me think ‘hey this guy is a bit weird’ until he asked me “what was the worst thing I had done to make someone jealous?”. I was a bit curious as to why he was asking but when he went on to express that his girlfriend had cheated on him with his brother so I brushed that question to one side until he asked “had I ever been in jail?”. Even in my Hollywood blurred vision of dating I even realised that this was never a good combination of questions!
I politely answered “no, why have you?”, to which he replied “not yet”! Here was I sitting on a park bench with a guy who was contemplating a stint in jail, even Drew Barrymore wasn’t this unlucky. Naively, I thought that this was a blip, the end of the weirdness. When just then, a waitress appeared from the restaurant that lay at the bottom of this picturesque hill, running towards us shouting “get away from my man - HO” with what appeared to be a very large kitchen knife. There was a moment between running and thinking I’d never heard a real person say “HO” apart from when it follows “HI”, when I did actually look behind me to see the poor women that she must have been talking to until I realised that it was actually me! So, what did I do? I ran and hid behind a tree, that’s right, I hid all 5’11 of me behind a tree, while these two battled it out in the middle of the park thinking to myself what would Cher do in this situation!
Days following, Matt did call the house several times asking if I would like to go out again, at first I gracefully declined and then I had to get my 8 year old cousin to tell him I had gone back to Ireland! So this was it, this was dating, how it all began and how I still know it now. This is when the blow off “I have a boyfriend” , the “I’m moving country” the “I’m not emotional available” the “tragic death” (yes I have actually had to use that) and many more excuses all started.
This experience bodes the question; is Hollywood to blame for my idealistic view in dating, or am I just that unlucky? And so it continues…
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
The Smell
I read an article a few days ago that said that when women turn 27 they start to lose the smell that attracts men. Although, featured in a highly regarded free evening paper, I imagine the article caused much panic amongst the late twenty something year old women. The same women who dread the Sunday morning question “well did you meet any potentials last night” or the “why is it that you are still single?” questions. The question most loved by singletons and only ever asked by non-singletons. Apparently now I can blame the smell...
After the initial fear that went on in my head and the irrational text message that I sent my younger, happily coupled friend, who offered to give me some of her smell now that I am destined to eternal singledom due to being smell-less, I realised that this news for me, wasn’t a panic but in fact a big relief. Does it mean that I have finally stopped releasing the smell that seems to attract every miss-fit, racist, downright odd man there is? After 10 years of “proper” dating can I not attract but repel these social inept male species who think they are god's gift to women?
So all this got me thinking about how many stories I have from dates and men that I have encountered and this is why I have started this blog. To let people understand why it is “that I am still single”, to allow other singletons know they aren’t the only ones and to hopefully make a few people laugh!
I read an article a few days ago that said that when women turn 27 they start to lose the smell that attracts men. Although, featured in a highly regarded free evening paper, I imagine the article caused much panic amongst the late twenty something year old women. The same women who dread the Sunday morning question “well did you meet any potentials last night” or the “why is it that you are still single?” questions. The question most loved by singletons and only ever asked by non-singletons. Apparently now I can blame the smell...
After the initial fear that went on in my head and the irrational text message that I sent my younger, happily coupled friend, who offered to give me some of her smell now that I am destined to eternal singledom due to being smell-less, I realised that this news for me, wasn’t a panic but in fact a big relief. Does it mean that I have finally stopped releasing the smell that seems to attract every miss-fit, racist, downright odd man there is? After 10 years of “proper” dating can I not attract but repel these social inept male species who think they are god's gift to women?
So all this got me thinking about how many stories I have from dates and men that I have encountered and this is why I have started this blog. To let people understand why it is “that I am still single”, to allow other singletons know they aren’t the only ones and to hopefully make a few people laugh!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)